My friends, as this Christmas Eve draws near, I am left thinking about things my father and I discussed this week as he prepared for the meditation he normally shares before the big meal together. The conversations about this upcoming meditation dovetailed very nicely with a train of thought sparked by a conversation with a friend about a quote by Ayn Rand:
"If you know a man’s convictions, you can predict his actions. If you understand the dominant philosophy of a society, you can predict its course. But convictions and philosophy are matters open to man’s choice. There is no fatalistic, predetermined historical necessity. .."
This dovetailed in with the question "What do I love" that is being asked during tonight's meditation. I'll get into that in a second. After being sick for a few days and not getting a chance to post this before, I guess it is somewhat fitting to be posted today.
First of all, the Rand quote...some discussion ensued as to the "irrationality" of man and how that may or may not neuter the statement. I am of the opinion that it is a good generalized statement, and that for the most part that which we may call irrationality is actually the betrayal in actions of that which we held MORE dear to ourselves than our stated convictions...even if only temporarily.
If my highest conviction is that being hypocritical is wrong, but then I subsume all that is my core to keep the peace, then my true highest conviction (at least temporarily) is avoiding strife or rifts with this group of people, and not my hypocricy.
If my conviction is that my family matters most of all, but next week I blow our mortgage payment on a brand new 60" 3D HDTV because it is "TEH AWESOME L00TZ", I have not behaved irrationally, I have shown the world that, at least at the moment, my true conviction places my own material joy above the needs of my family.
It is our actions that give the strongest testimony to what we hold most treasured in our hearts at any given time. After all, our hearts and minds cannot be known by others save for our actions (words being a volitional act of communication for this definition).
So, that being the case, the question comes back around..."What do I love?" I think this may be an even better quesiton than "what are my convictions?"
This requires a little bit of defining as well. Love is a word we bandy about quite a bit, and rarely define. How can I LOVE something, if I do not know what that entails? Does it entail a feeling? A specific action? A specific relationship?
I've already explored this in a "story-by-proxy" in the Dear Potter series, but here is a recap of "Love" as I define it:
Excerpt from Dear Potter part IV:
----------------------------------------------------------------------How would you define “love”?...The question has rarely been asked and met with aught but some bumbling, hastily constructed reply. Depending on the circumstances, people will emphasize feelings, emotive descriptions, romanticism, eroticism, bonds, connections, spirituality, or some grandiose mixture of all of these things. I myself was put on the spot once by my very own father while he was preparing to speak to a group of young married couples. I was merely 14 at the time, and it was quite a few more years before I had digested and appropriately applied his answer. It made sense, but I had not allowed the truth and power of it to sink in and make sense to me. So many other definitions, even that found in the Potter’s own Book, describe love by what it is and is not, show examples of love, and try to paint a picture of love. But very rarely does a simple, succinct definition appear anywhere as it did for me that day.My father squared my shoulders to him, looked me in the eye, and said:“Love is the conscious and willing commitment to (be, want, desire, do, seek, ab pluribus disce omnes) the BEST for the person or persons loved.”My friend, I love this definition. I live and breathe this definition. It has been the fundamental principle behind my own relationships, whatever they may be.Love is a commitment, few people would argue that, I suppose. However, it is a commitment made in the full knowledge (conscious and willing) of what that commitment may someday and does at the moment entail. It is not a blind feeling, a fleeting emotion, or some overwhelming sensation. It is not a convenient desire, it is not a passing fad. It is a wholehearted commitment. A father does not cease loving his child when he misbehaves or is being difficult. In fact, it is that commitment that keeps love alive even through the difficulties. It cannot be something as fleeting as a mere emotional state, or it is nothing but a whim and of no ultimate significance.The multifaceted application of verbs in the definition reflects the myriad aspects of what that commitment may someday entail. It can be actions, thoughts, prayer, emotions, and any combination of these things. But it is all of these things for one unifying purpose…to the end of bringing about the BEST for the one(s) loved.Unfortunately, my friend, this is where so many of us fall short of our Potter’s perfection. For, being merely men, what we can believe to be the best for one loved can later be found to have been sorely misguided. This weakness is in us, not the definition, however. Just because we can be too hubris-filled or inexperienced to know what truly constitutes ‘best’ for someone does not mean that we cannot fill our hearts with the true commitment to seek this best, whatever it may be.I wholeheartedly believe, my young friend, and have often experienced, that this commitment, made honestly and totally, will lend to self-correction by an honest man unafraid to evaluate himself or take evaluation by others. Being wrong is ok…persisting in the mistake is where the true failing often occurs. If we are open to correction, and committed to the best FOR the person loved…not to the hubris of being right or knowing what’s best, then I believe we can minimize the egregious errors of overconfidence in what “right” constitutes.----------------------------------------------------------------------
So, now is a bit of time for introspection...
If you were to ask the various people in your life to write a eulogy for you today, answering the question: "What did I love?", what would people say? What has your life been communicating to people? What is the impression you are leaving behind on a daily basis?
What DO you love? What does your life show others on a daily basis?
Do you love your friends, your family, your work, your money, yourself, others, your causes, your activism, your knowledge, your accomplishments?
Would the answers be very different across your different relationships and people you know? Would they be only slightly different?
How would these lists match up against what you would wish them to be/your ideals?
I am interested, for those that may wish to send me a message rather than put as an answer to this post, what do YOU believe I love? At this point in my life, what impression have I managed to leave behind? I am truly interested in knowing whether my own personal perceptions are even close to those on my periphery. You may know me personally, or merely through my writing here...but I AM interested in knowing...according to you,
what do I love?
“If liberty means anything at all it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.” -George Orwell.
Blog - Musings of an Old Fool by Juan Lopez is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at lopezj4141.blogspot.com.
-
Posts
Family.
ReplyDelete