Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Wilders

He may go a step or two further than I in his response to this religious totalitarianism incursion into what is supposed to be free Western democracies, but he should be allowed to speak.

The fact that this man is being persecuted for opinions, especially for standing AGAINST a religious point of view, is a travesty of freedom. Is Dawkins facing this degree of persecution? Or Hawking? Is the mention of Carl Sagan a reason for rioting and concern for "violent response"? These men were also opposed to the same religious totalitarianism, only they didn't limit themselves to one particular religion. Geert Wilders has expressed his opinion of one RELIGION and how much he is opposed to its fascistic and fanatical interpretation. And for this he is being persecuted. Orwellian Thought Crimes legislation is making its way into our world, folks, make no doubt about it.

If we are not free to find a SINGLE religion distasteful, even repugnant, we're no longer free. This attitude applies broadly to many situations. You MUST be free to find things distasteful, repugnant, disagreeable. Just as the people indulging in those things must be free to pursue those things.

George Orwell:
“If liberty means anything at all it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

Geert Wilders Speech in Florida.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Handcuffs we willingly wear

I think this is an amazing quote.

"I'm not naive about my country. My country is definitely not always right; my country has at times been terribly wrong. But I know this about Americans: We don't set out to kill innocent people. We don't cheer when innocent people die.

The people who did this to us are monsters; the people who cheered them have hate-sickened minds. One reason they can cheer is that they know we would never do to them what their heroes did to us, even though we could, a thousand times worse. They know that when we hunt down the monsters, we will try hard not to harm the innocent. Those are the handcuffs we willingly wear, because for all our flaws, we are a decent people."
– Dave Barry, September 13, 2001.

No matter what the frothing-at-the-mouth deranged leftists in this country think, we ARE a decent people, and have behaved decently in this war, because of this very reason. We don't set out to hurt the innocent, nor is it a driving factor behind our actions. In fact, we are willing to consider the non-combatants AS innocent, something our enemy does not - for non-believers can never be innocent in their eyes. Compared to those deranged theocrats, I am PROUD to claim the title "infidel", for I would cringe and shudder at the very THOUGHT of being acceptable to those insane bastards.

While I'm on the subject of "ranting", the following two articles are great:

Why hate crime legislation is a crock and should be called the Orwellian name it deserves: Thought Crime.

"Rules for Radicals" are in full effect in the modern American left.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Recap of last day

So, I realize that I left it pretty cryptic at the last posting.

Truth is, there's not a whole lot left to tell. Basically had one last long day at the hospital. Got to talk to a VERY helpful doctor who explained much of the process to me and helped clarify many things for me - and helped me see how much of a dead end we were pursuing.

I was very thankful and blessed to get the opportunity to get INTO the hospital, as the waiting lists are long and getting longer. But the options there simply were not for me. Not to mention the time scales we're discussing were not even feasible. 2-3 years before I could get any actionable decisions from the hospital, and make forward progress.

My parents were crushed, to the point of some tears. This was one of the last, best hopes available within the world of socialized medicine at home. Without that opportunity, we have to rely on me being able to get myself graduated, employed, and on my own insurance plan again to begin the process of pursuing other treatment options. This trip had raised their hopes too high, and I was hurting for them at how low they were dashed. I'm ok, but I spent a couple of days with just a heavy heart thinking of how much this had hurt them.

A couple of good things came out of this - we were able to get a lot more bloodwork and testing done to continue building up the case file. I was given an invitation to come back to the hospital as a lecturer once I complete my Ph.D.

BEGIN RANT

In plain words, the doctor said that I would fare much better as a colleague than as a patient. She said doctors were not ready to explain themselves to a questioning patient, but they would readily hold in-depth sessions with a colleague. She said that basically all of their patients learn to just "trust" in their doctors and take their advice at face value, because they don't have the education to ask the right questions, and that my education and familiarity with my own case makes my doctors feel like I am an antagonist rather than a participant in my own care. This, because I ask questions, I request explanations for why we chose one treatment over another, and that I know when they are bluffing and making me do things "just because this is the way we do it HERE, not because it's a better choice". She said none of my doctors were willing to deal with a patient that could ask and smell the B.S. when requests for clarification were issued. But she said they'd be more than happy to do so with a COLLEAGUE.

This annoyed me quite a bit, because it goes back to a cultural problem I've had ever since I was a little kid. I abhor how much we hinge on our "titles" back home. People FREQUENTLY introduce themselves by their title and first/last names. "Ingeniero Lopez" would be one way I could politely introduce myself to people, "Lopez, engineer", and it would be written as "Ing. Juan M. Lopez" rather than "Sr. or Mr." Juan M. Lopez. People do this for their bachelor's degrees as well. It's called "degreed", so they introduce themselves as "Licensiado Lopez", for example, and would write it as Lic. Juan M. Lopez on any formal documentation. Of course, "Professor" and "Doctor" are more revered than "Engineer" Titles, but "Engineer" and "teacher" are more valued than "Degreed".

So, when you introduce yourself in this very TRADITIONAL manner, you are INFORMING people of the degree of respect with which you EXPECT them to address you. In Spanish there is a formal language and an informal language, and the titles demand the formality of the person to whom one just introduced oneself.

I have been able to claim the "lofty" title of engineer for years, and I always refuse. it annoys me to no end to DEMAND that kind of respect from people just because I say so. If they will respect me it is for who I am, not for what I TOLD them I am.

But, it bit me in the behind here. Once again, I did not use any of the "titles" I could have, and my doctors got all huffy that an "untitled" person felt "entitled" to ask questions. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Screw it, though. I still refuse to use titles. I refuse to demand that someone respect me because I DEMAND it in my own introduction.

END RANT

Anyway. The program they were offering me was simply not a medically sound decision for me. The last doctor I interviewed admitted that it was one of the more dangerous and radical and irreversible measures out there, but that it was a "one size fits all" solution, and it would fix all the various problems the hospital dealt with when it came to obesity, so they focused on the most radical approach. Woe be to you if your problem warranted a more measured, deliberative approach, because only one is available.

I already have a malabsorption disease from the medicines they ordered. Now they want to induce a permanent broad-based malabsorption disease that will cause me more deficiencies than just vitamin B. I can't do it. The risks/quality of life issues simply did not manage to win me over to their column. But I dared question and I dared care about the decisions I was making about MY health, so I was not a good candidate for the social medicine hospital.

So be it.

Now, I am back in the states with no immediate plans to go seek any more treatment, and will probably have nothing new to report for quite a while.

Thank you all for caring, following up, wishing me well, and praying. I ask that you please keep my parents in your prayers. This has been awfully hard on them, and they are truly heartbroken to see another door slammed in the face of progress, especially one that had so much promise.

I should stop indulgently recapping my own previous writing, but this fits well:

Excerpt from Potter's Workshop:

Slowly, as if succumbing to the pressure of a suffocating weight, the Fool sinks to his knees. He reaches out to the Potter and cries out, bellowing with emotion but with a strangled whisper of volume.

The Potter rushes over, catching the Fool before that tired head reaches the dusty workshop tiles. "My Son, fruit of My Hands, I am here," whispers the Potter. "You are My design, My creation, My heart. Why do you flag and wax so morose?"

The Fool gathers himself, drinking in the strength that flows from his Potter. Recovering composure, he steadies his voice, and whispers, "This clay has worn out and worn fragile - brittle and thin. Though the soul was rediscovered through your latest design, robustness was not in Your plan."

"Your designs, always so perfect, what happened with mine? Was my soul so hidden, twisted, and scarred that a whole soul and whole vessel could not intertwine? Why do You...", the Fool drifts away, unable to finish the thought - unsure of the ending to the truncated question.

The Potter's eyes mist, His creation's sorrow His own. "My Son, why must you size yourself up by any mold or design but the one meant for you? Their tasks are not yours, your burdens your own. My design for you is ongoing, your purpose unfolding. Don't you trust Me, work of My own?"

The shamed Fool looks down, unable to meet his Potter's kind gaze. "Trust abounds, sweet Potter, but this thin clay seems untenable as I've run out of strength. Each day filled with pain, bleakness, and neverending fatigue."

At a whisper, saline rivulets down the Fool's craggy face, he continues, "The brightest beloveds you've allowed me, now merely a fond, distant memory. My closest two friends are the Night and my Potter. My work, my tears, my long nights to ponder, my trust of you, Potter...these are the things that keep me afloat."

"My Potter, though honored by the worth you have placed in my life and existence, I cry out 'Unworthy, unable!'. Please, dear Potter, I beg You, implore, arrogate - believe less in me and retire this vessel! Receive me back in Your workshop, a completed piece, purpose served. Please dear Potter, Your vessel does beg with its last ounce of strength!"

With this gasping cry, the Fool now collapses - his reservoir empty, his piece said, his pleas expended. He rests in his Potter's care.

"My Son, My Creation, My Handiwork - you are My design, My plan, My vessel. Your strength is not sufficient for My tasks, but on your strength alone you don't have to rely. My Child, My
Creature, My Clay, rest your head now, renew in My strength.", the Potter whispers.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Eh.

I don't have the energy or the will to update right now.

We have hit a solid dead end today.

I am packed, and on the way to rest and then airport in the morning.

Thank you all for keeping up with me this long trip.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

One last round

So, I have one las round of medical visits tomorrow. It is going to be a whirlwind.

There are some hints that it may not be a COMPLETE waste of time, though.

1) Ecocardiogram to rule out pulmonary hypertension. That would be a good thing to do.

2) New thyroid ultrasound. One can never have too many ultrasounds.

3) After my disastrous last visit, one of the leading doctors there (someone who's actually published a textbook and other book or two) decided I WAS interesting enough to warrant a second look. Then the doctor looked a bit more into my file and insisted on injecting herself into ALL my rounds of visits tomorrow, so she can play catch-up, as her interest has been thoroughly engaged by this case. However, until we actually get to talk with her, I'll reserve judgment on how much this will be helpful.

Now, I am off to bed, because it's 4:45 am up and at 'em for me.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Frustrated or unsurprised?

Still haven't figured out whether I'm frustrated or unsurprised. I am leaning towards unsurprised with a tinge of frustrated.

How did yesterday's round of discussions with RESEARCH doctors (at least supposed to be) go? Paraphrased as follows:

Docs: Well, you really should get back on that medication, it's truly the only thing left on the market for you to take at the moment to help you in any way.

Me: I've been on every form of that medication that is currently offered, and now that medication causes me SEVERE trouble, pain, internal bleeding (forheavenssakelistentowhatIamsaying - internal dialogue)

Docs: Yes, we know, but discomfort is no small price to pay for being on the ONLY thing left that can help you.

Me: INTERNAL BLEEDING. This is acceptable?

Docs: That has got to be caused by something else. You probably have a food allergy or gastric problem we haven't discovered yet.

Me: Um. But:
If Juan NOT taking the medicine AND on B12 -> Juan OK.
If Juan NOT on B12 OR taking the medicine -> Juan VERY NOT OK.
Finally, If Juan taking medicine AND B12 -> Juan VERY NOT OK.
All other foods/medications -> Juan OK.
Seems like one common link.

Docs: The people who are that seriously affected by this medicine are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too rare for you to be one of them. You'd be a near anomaly here in our hospital. Because it's such a small statistical sample, you must not be one of them.

Me: (internal dialogue - unutterable grumbings about statistical training for someone being in dire need - hypothesis testing 101 at least) Ok, so on to other situations, what about the pituitary link?

Docs: We can rule that right out. First of all, we've never had a patient at YOUR weight have a pituitary problem (unspoken reason: it's from stuffing their fattie faces with cake and candy, lardass. Also, we'll conveniently overlook that you're 6" taller than our average patient in the room of 1000 patients you could visually survey, and that your muscle mass proportion is also a large part of your weight due to the steroid effect of the insulin).

Docs: Also, if it was even CLOSELY related to the pituitary issues, the majority of your mass would be in your abdomen, not in your arms/legs. No, your arms and legs are not skinny. OK, so distally they really have no fat, but that doesn't mean they're skinny. Your wrist is still much larger than mine. Yes, yes, it's all bone at the wrist, but it's still much bigger.

Me: (sigh) OK, so, what else?

Docs: Well, we need the psychologist to interview you and find out if you're truly not a compulsive overeater, and then send you on to the nutritionist.

(couple hours later)

Docs: Ok, well, the psychologist doesn't think you're a compulsive overeater. However, the nutritionist has decided on a very healthy meal plan for you that on its OWN should have you losing weight even with a sedentary lifestyle.

Me: Um. The plan the nutritionist suggested is 100-300 calories more than what I might eat on a normal day anyway. How will eating the same, or a bit more, HELP me?

Docs: (unspoken: Well, fattie mcFatcheeks, you're probably under-reporting how much you actually stuff your face, and you're a liar about it, regardless of what the shrink says) Well, that's because you haven't tried OUR diet. The way we organize your carb/lipid/protein balance will be what makes the TRUE difference.

Me: The plan asks me to eat 4-5 times a day. Will that not raise my average insulin level on any given day, making the steroid effect worse?

Docs: Not if you follow our diet and keep to the calories we've limited you to.

Me: (Grumble grumble grumble). Sounds great, I'll get RIGHT on it.

-------------------

More later, but it's now 10:45pm, and I have one more oral surgery to get to...

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. :)

Replay, but fitting

How do you?

How do you amalgamate the pieces of a shattered being?

When the killing blow which sundered the soul on life's cold, relentless, unyielding anvil was so devastatingly, unerringly, unflinchingly true?

When the impetus behind the strike was duty, love, honor, or any other grandiose, powerful, and revered word which seems to ring hollow when the deed is done?

When the act itself is not the end, but rather a beginning - the aftershock of loss, pain, and loneliness reverberating through the precarious remains of a life once joyous and whole?

When the blow was by one's own hand - a devastating, agonizing, and deliberately voluntary act?

And once you've survived, overcome, and triumphed - once you've tasted the warmth of life again, when those same grave, deep, and ponderous words place you in a familiar position, with outstretched arm being required, demanded, and pushed to carry through to the dutiful end...

how do you do it again?

How do you?

Do you count your blessings? Remember your joys? Recall why you are the luckiest man alive?

Do you remember those who count on and love you? Your duties, promises, and devoir?

Do you put on a brave fact and hide the fear...the slight tremor in the hand that besmirched the bravery of that ghastly task?

Do you cry out, weep, or moan?

Or do you remember the pain in other's lives, and pray, implore, and arrogate for the dignity, perseverance, and grace to be half as strong as they?

How do you?

----------------

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bw_90cpuOM4


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sDnasZvLA4


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CYfosCkJew


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxFvdunfv-4


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6cZZgwFBX4


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf9fsiz4Thw


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQ0mfqpraII


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eq2FLZFzBJU


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPEWkZ54Fx4

Monday, April 20, 2009

XKCD...the awesomeness rolls on

From: http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hallucinations.png



From: http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/regular_expressions.png



From: http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/python.png

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Standing up for TRUE religious freedom.

Dhimmi status is NEVER acceptable. NEVER SUBMIT! NEVER SUBMIT!! NEVER SUBMIT!!! This one-sided approach to religious tolerance must NEVER be allowed to spread its cancer to the world.

This is not limited to one religion, but the more egregious examples are the following three: There can be dhimmi status to Islam and there can be dhimmi status to fundamentalist Christianity, and finally India's Hindutva would desire the country's non-Hindus to live in dhimmi status.

In the case of the extremist jihadis we are currently in "overseas contingency operations" against (GRRRRRRRRRRR Orwellian language), this is the end goal. Total submission, either through conversion or dhimmi status. This makes THEIR cancer all the more pernicious - it is currently spreading by FORCE.

Let me repeat: NEVER a DHIMMI! NEVER!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dhimmi

From: http://townhall.com/columnists/KenBlackwell/2009/04/18/fighting_for_religious_freedom?page=full&comments=true

I love the last 3 paragraphs...one-sided tolerance is NOT tolerance.

Threats of violence should be met with the firmest measures of effective control. When Muslims threaten the murder of anyone who offends them — as they did with Christian convert Abdul Rahman in Afghanistan several years ago –we have a right to denounce such barbarism. We should stand up, and never cringe. That is a lesson from Dr. Martin Luther King I hope we all have learned.

But not everyone here agrees with an unapologetic stance for religious freedom. With the authority of one who really knows, Chris Seiple, President of the Institute for Global Engagement, took to the pages of The Christian Science Monitor last month to lecture us on the new “no-nos” of communicating with Muslims.

Speaking as one who has been to the Middle East many times, Seiple gives advice to President Obama on the words he should not use.

Don’t use jihadi, Seiple says, to describe terrorists that we are fighting. This only confirms their status as religious warriors. Seiple says they don’t merit that classification.

Don’t use freedom, either, he says. That’s because what Americans mean by freedom is often confused by Muslims as “an unbound licentiousness.” Watch out for “religious freedom,” too. Seiple thinks this term has been tainted by a too-close association with past U.S. foreign policy and the idea that we were making war to make the world safe for Protestant Evangelicals to “proselytize and convert.”

Even though he concedes that this is not an accurate portrayal of what religious freedom actually means, Seiple thinks it would be better to avoid the term entirely and speak in terms of “peace, justice, honor, mercy, and compassion.” “Tolerance” rounds out Seiple’s long list of unmentionables. Seiple concludes by saying that tolerance is not enough because it fails to build bridges of trust – “according to the inherent dignity we each have as fellow creations of God…”

Note that unusual term “fellow creations of God.” Not fellow human beings created in the image of God. A fellow creation of God could be no closer than the whale and the sea. Don’t slay the one. Don’t pollute the other. They are both fellow creations of God.

What Chris Seiple is advocating, let us be clear, is dhimmitude. He is urging us to self-censor, and self-limit so that we do not offend. In short, he wants us to cringe, the better to gain “respect” in our dealings with Muslims. Dhimmi is the status accorded to non-Muslims in regions dominated by Islam. Often translated as “second-class citizen,” that unappealing phrase is itself a euphemism. We might better think of dhimmis as persons with no rights, no legal standing, no claims of citizenship, those who live shadow lives always subject to heavy taxes for simply being what they are – non-Muslims. Dhimmis may not be slaves, but they are just a notch above. Seiple is what I descriptively term a dhimmicrat. That’s not a term of abuse. It’s a word for one who uses his political or cultural position to lay on the rest of us, especially believing Christians and Jews, a de facto dhimmi status. They want us to surrender — even before the jihadists succeed in creating their umma — their all-Muslim community. Dhimmicrats are forever lecturing us on the need to be more understanding of outrageous conduct.

Newsweek magazine recently published a chilling story about young, bearded Afghan men who hang out in the slums of London. There, these often unschooled and unemployed young Muslims show each other the latest Taliban ambushes of U.S. troops in their home country — and the latest grisly beheadings of Aghans accused of spying for the U.S. and NATO forces. They are not doing this just in Kandahar or Kabul, but in London.

Britain’s Prince of Wales came to the United States recently to try to persuade us to be more understanding of Muslim demands. He does not preach understanding among the young Afghans migrants who live just a few miles from his princely palace in London. That could be dangerous. The prince may be the leading dhimmicrat in the world.

When Anglican Bishop Nazir-Ali came to the U.S. earlier this year, he did not call for persecution of Muslims. Nazir-Ali called upon all Christians to treat Muslims with genuine respect. Asked whether muezzins ought to be allowed to call Muslims to prayer in his home city of Rochester, England, “certainly,” the Bishop replied even-handedly, “as soon as church bells ring out in Mecca.” The Bishop’s point was there should be no knuckling under.

Bishop Nazir-Ali says Britain’s very life as a nation is at stake. English law and the Christian religion are what distinguished England among the nations. Both are daily being bartered away by dhimmicrats in the U.K. who fear that any resistance will bring a violent reaction.

Let’s also remember Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., this week. He gave his life for the ideals expressed in the Declaration of Independence. Without the religious freedom afforded by this country, could his example have inspired believers around the world? He is honored by a statue in Britain’s Westminster Abbey. We should honor his memory in our hearts.


From: http://standwithus.org/app/iNews/view_n.asp?ID=998

NYC DEMONSTRATION AGAINST THE UNITED NATIONS' FAILURE TO ADDRESS WORLDWIDE HUMAN RIGHTS ABUSES
MONDAY, APRIL 20 AT NOON AT DAG HAMMARSKJOLD PLAZA

CONGRESSMAN SCOTT GARRETT (R-NJ) TO SPEAK

STANDWITHUS STAFF WILL POST LIVE ON “TWITTER”

(April 17--New York.) -- Concerned citizens, organizations and community leaders will rally at noon on Monday April 20 at Dag Hammarskjold Plaza to challenge the UN's failure to address gross human rights abuses around the world. Congressman Scott Garrett (R-NJ) who has spoken out against Durban II will speak.

The demonstration is timed to coincide with the first day of the UN Human Rights Council's [HRC] controversial Durban II conference in Geneva, Switzerland. Similar demonstrations will be held in Geneva to protest against the HRC and the Durban II agenda.

StandWithUs, an international education organization, planned the NYC rally in cooperation with the New York Board of Rabbis, AMCHA, The David Project, the Orthodox Union and other organizations.

Avi Posnick, SWU East Coast community outreach director will introduce speakers at the NY rally including Rabbi Joseph Potasnik, executive vice president of the New York Board of Rabbis and community activist Curtis Sliwa, founder of the Guardian Angels and NY770 KABC radio.

SWU staff will be "Tweeting" - i.e. sending short updates via Twitter.com – live from the rally. People can follow the Posts or respond at: http://twitter.com/StandWithUs.

Explanatory postcards and posters specifically prepared for the rally and Durban II are downloadable at www.standwithus.com.

Explains Roz Rothstein, SWU international director who will travel to Geneva to be a witness, "It is time for the public to demand that the United Nations actually promote human rights. The HRC's Durban conference is a glaring symptom of the UN's failures. The first Durban conference in South Africa in 2001 was supposed to address racism and racial discrimination. Instead, it was a racist hate fest against Israel and Jews. This follow-up conference, Durban II, promises to be just as bad. We must put an end to this travesty of UN ideals.”

She will be accompanied to Geneva by StandWithUs staff including Education Director Roberta Seid, PhD, and the Director of the SWU Israel Office Michael Dickson. SWU staff will also be posting on Twitter from the conferences and rallies. Rothstein is introducing Harvard professor Alan Dershowitz at a rally.

"The HRC has obsessively focused on condemning Israel, the one democracy in the Middle East, instead of dealing with the suffering in Darfur, Liberia, and the Congo, or with the systematic oppression of women, gays, religious and ethnic minorities, and children in reactionary regimes across the globe," states Avi Posnick, StandWithUs East Coast outreach coordinator.

Critics point out that the 47-member HRC is dominated by non-free nations. They are among the worst violators of the human rights they are supposed to uphold; they include Angola, China, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, and Cuba. They block HRC investigations of their abuses and instead vote to praise each other. They ignore serial human rights violations and incitement to genocide by Hamas, Hezbollah, Iran, and Syria. Iran, which has called for the destruction of Israel, is one of the vice-chairs for planning Durban II.

"The HRC's obsessive focus on Israel and its manufactured allegations against this one, small country that scrupulously upholds humanitarian values even as it fights terrorism are symptoms of the disease that is destroying the UN's ability to promote human rights. People of good will are fed up. At the rally, we will finally speak out and demand that the UN start living up to its own ideals," asserts Rothstein.

StandWithUs, an international, non-profit Israel education organization, hosts speakers and conferences, offers website resources and creates brochures and materials about Israel that are distributed globally. Based in Los Angeles, the organization has offices across the U.S. and in Israel and the UK. SWU was founded in 2001 in response to the public’s need and desire for mainstream information about the Arab-Israeli conflict. StandWithUsCampus helps college students challenge anti-Israel bias.

Mac Hall-Grading

A little salty in the language, but does the job well in being hilarious if you've ever graded. :)

From: http://www.machall.com/comics/20021223.jpg