Sleepless Night, my old friend

Here we are again.

Hello again, you scurrilous rascal …

Incorrigible, relentless, and yet ever seductive…

My own personal Janus through all of life's transitions…

I greet you grudgingly, and yet with the familiarity of an old lover…

Welcome again my old friend, my wandering muse, my Sleepless Night.

When the rest of the world has gone silently with the sandman,

You and I are left to share the silence with only each other.

Left to wander, dream, think, curse, muse, and brood,

We play off our long history and many memories.

I curse your unrelenting and daunting eternity,

You infuse me with endless ponderings.

Back and forth, our endless game.

I see that today is no different

Anon we are to meet…

Here we are again,

You and I squaring off.

Here I sit before you friend,

Unguarded, fatigued, yet awake.

You remind me of my darkest nights,

And I point out the victorious reciprocals.

But what are these trips down memory lane

If they aren't meant to be destructive missives?

Do you serve a purpose other than provide me torment?

As much as I would hate to answer in the absolute affirmative,

I must admit to you and the world the good that in you I've found.

Few of my personal triumphs have occurred away from your company,

Long, quiet, lonely, and thoughtful nights necessary but not sufficient

To discover the changes that I must make in my own wayward walk.

How curious that the one thing I feared the most as a youngling

Would become necessary to salve the wounds of life ill lived.

The dark, both seductive and velvety, yet empty and sad;

Endless in its promise and unfathomable mysteries,

Unfettered, I wax verbose in my vain soliloquies.

You assault me with daunting trepidations,

And yet free me to explore my thoughts.

In your embrace I have found peace;

Peace amidst some true storms.

So, reluctantly as it may be.

I welcome you old friend.

Here we are again

 

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